Hard Candy

If you only know Ellen Page as Juno, her turn as Hayley in Hard Candy will show you that tiny girls can be amongst the fiercest. Hayley possesses a lot of the same quick wit and humor as Juno, but Hayley’s is deeply rooted in darkness and anger.

Horrifically realistic, Hard Candy makes me want to lock my niece away from all the predators out there, or at least keep her off of the Internet.

Hayley (screen name Thonggrrrl14) and Jeff Kohlver (Lensaman319) strike up a relationship via a chat room and decide to meet in person. Despite the wide gap between their ages (she's 14, he's 32), they appear to hit it off and after a brief initial meeting retreat to Jeff’s apartment. Once there, Hayley mixes drinks for them, which she also drugs, leaving Jeff temporarily unconscious.

When Jeff awakes he is tied up and left to deal with Hayley, who believes he is a pedophile and is determined to make him pay for it.

At a full foot shorter and easily 90+ pounds lighter, Hayley is believably the one in control for the duration of the film. As I stated earlier, she’s quick-witted like Juno, but far more sinister as Hayley.

Hard Candy was directed by David Slade, and while I know there are haters out there I am not embarrassed to say that 30 Days of Night is one of my favorite films. Barring a huge stinking Eclipse bomb, like the previous Twilight installment, I’ll remain a faithful Slade fan.

Jeff Kohlver is played by Patrick Wilson, and for some unknown reason Sandra Oh is listed on the main credits. She’s in the film for about 2 minutes – 3 minutes tops - delivering freakin' Girl Scout cookies for those 180 seconds max.

Bottom line: Whether dark, witty, thoughtful, or vengeful, I think it would be supremely cool to be friends with Ellen Page. Leaning towards reality, I’ll settle for being one of her biggest fans.