Lobby-bound

Here were are, Jen and I, waiting out a heavy storm in Jamaica. We were supposed to be embarking on a snorkeling cruise, but Mother Nature nixed that. Not to worry, we hitched on to another cruise the following morning.

The photo was taken (by me) in the lobby, which was an open-air lobby, meaning the rain could easily blow inside and soak us. We got a kick out of watching the hotel staff pull down the plastic flaps with their extra-long hooks in order to keep us dry.

Most of the hotel restaurants, bars and seating areas were open-air. In fact, I think the only enclosed spaces were the guest rooms. I found it quite refreshing, except on that last morning when all I could concentrate on was not throwing up. I would've given up a kidney for some air conditioning then.

OUCH!

Our Mystery Trip* to Montego Bay was excellent, but after viewing my photos (many which were not taken by me), I fear I will have little to offer visually. I have a few I like, but they are people shots. However, I will likely upload some pics from our snorkeling cruise. They're not spectacular, but as I was there I can attest to the perfection of the voyage!

Below is the bruise I gained after taking far too much advantage of the "all-inclusive" benefits of the RIU resort. Thank goodness Jeni was there or I might've been even more black and blue.

That's my right hip photographed Thursday night. They always say it looks worse before it gets better. I can't imagine this bruise getting any more purple - or tender.

I also managed to scrape just over a 1/16" of skin off of my right ankle. Oh the dangers of island life!

The bruises and scrapes and hangovers were VERY worth it. Thanks again Jen and Jeni for calling me a dozen times or more to get me to the airport!!!



*I am employed by an advertising agency that plans an employee trip every year to an undisclosed location. We don't find out where we're going until we get to the airport on the day of departure. My favorite destination thus far: Reykjavik, Iceland (2004).

Mophead

I was out of the country on our company's annual Mystery Trip from the 22nd through the 25th, and upon my return came down with a nasty flu-like sickness. The trip was to Montego Bay, Jamaica, and I will post the minimal photos I managed to take as soon as I can. The trip was amazing - perhaps even too much fun given my current health.

In the meantime, Zoe says hi. She's sporting her mophead look here and holding on tight to one of her rawhide bones.

She was ridiculously excited to see me when I picked her up from Caroline's on Tuesday. Thanks to the Masons for taking such good care of her!

More of the nose knows

What could be any cuter?!

I present Joey, my friend's Whippet. And by the way Joey loves the dog treats I bake for him and his parents are beyond fabulous.

Creative party bites

A friend at work is turning the big 40 on Wednesday, and since he loathes surprises we decided to spring a party on him a couple of days early. Some of the girls at work talked about making candy sushi, but Dana surprised everyone with her cookie hamburgers. They really looked like little tiny hamburgers!



I'm not the only dork who took a photo either. They were tasty but almost too cute to eat! There was candy sushi, too - two trays - complete with chopsticks for everyone.

Big brother's supremely obnoxious watchful eye

I am a contractor for the government.

Translation: I am a slave to the government. I am meagerly compensated. As a "contractor" I am treated like a 2nd-class citizen by many "true" government employees, who are paid twice as much as I am although I work just as hard. If I get started on the injustice regarding vacation time or benefits I'll spin into another dimension, so translation ends here.

For many months now, the government has slowly limited all employees' (not just contractors') ability to effectively use the internet as a resource. We're not only blocked from Facebook and certain Twitter pages, but I often find myself unable to search university directories for reviewer/author names and contact information. In those cases the government is not keeping me from taking unauthorized "breaks" from work, but it is instead preventing me from doing my JOB.

Yesterday's instance, while I admit is on the "unauthorized" side, sent me into an unparalleled rage. I found myself unable to LOG IN to my personal blog.

I do NOT post blog entries during work hours. I rarely post comments to other blogs during work hours, but when I do it's only during my lunch hour. HOW Is that unreasonable?! Should there be no fun at all between 8 am and 5 pm?!

Jen and I joked that soon we'll be blocked from Manuscript Central* (the site through which we do 95% of our job), and that we'll be made to request hall passes to go to the bathroom. I don't know about her, but I was 100% serious. What's irritating is that if put on the spot, I could certainly point out others' far more inappropriate behavior during business hours, but I choose not to fight back in that manner. I'll vent instead.

The icing on the cake: my government-run institution sponsored a workshop to promote social/business networking through Facebook, Twitter and Blogger a few months back. Thanks for that big brother. Maybe next time you'll dedicate your resources to tools we can actually use.

And yes, this post was written last night and scheduled to post Thursday morning. No part of this message was written while imprisoned in my cubicle under big (ass) brother's watchful eye.

* Manuscript Central does have a Twitter account, to which important service updates, etc. are posted. I do NOT have full access to that page and/or its posts. I'm not surprised.

Rollin' earth-friendly style

On Sunday, Zoe joined Jen and I on a business trip to Charlottesville, VA. Our last trip there was far less pleasant. Think disgusting accommodations where I didn't want to tread without flip-flops in the shower. BLEGH. But on this occasion I was delighted to have the opportunity to test-drive a PRIUS.

While my dad would never allow a "free-moving" dog in the vehicle, you'll see Zoe front and center below.



We really didn't allow Zoe to roam free for very long, as she usually migrated to my side of the vehicle, where she wanted to burrow in the floor board where the brakes and acceleration pedal are located: DANGER.

Jen snapped a pic of Zoe, trying to get comfortable in the PRIUS floor - RIGHT-side of the vehicle.

A note on telecommuting

On days that I telecommute (work from home), I am most definitely working. In fact, I always get more work done at home than I do in the office. Nevertheless, it is apparent that some view these days as less than working days.

Case in point, I arrived at work Wednesday morning to the following e-mail,

"This morning the fire alarm system triggered the fire suppression system in the data center, causing an immediate power shut down.
At this time, we are working with all of the emergency responders and the fire department to restore power to the data center.
We will provide an update when we have more information."

One of my supervisors advised me to go home, as I would be able to connect to the internet and my e-mail from there. I then advised my assistant to do the same.

But as I was leaving and saying my goodbyes, more than one person said, "See ya! Have a nice..."
I can only assume the words on their lips were "day off."

Such assumptions are incorrect and extremely infuriating. I can only describe those who believe that "working" has everything to do with location (sitting at a desk in a cubicle in a suite in a building) as ignorant and behind the times.

Seriously, I might get to wear my pajamas, work from my bed or with a dog under my feet, but that doesn't mean I'm not working!!! Not to mention that I'm doing my part to reduce my carbon footprint by driving less.

Maybe it would help if I started using my supervisor's terminology: teleWORKING.

Thank goodness for Jennifer Garner

The real Jennifer Garner - my assistant.
She is beyond fabulous. She's a wonderful friend and loads of fun; she's a hard worker and she looks out for me in a fierce way. I love her!

I bring this up because on one of our many trips to the local Starbucks, she informed me of the following, "I never planned to still be in North Carolina at 25. I also never thought I'd be working a desk job, and definitely not where my mom worked!"

Expecting to pursue a job in the arts, she seems to feel that she's settled. This makes me both happy and sad, because I love Jen and want her to be ecstatic all the time, but I'm selfish in wishing she'll never leave me. Jen's presence is a HUGE light in every single one of my days. Our iChats are my daily lifeline. Her iChat ID photo is shown left. That is the beautiful face I get to see sending me funny snippets all day.

Nevertheless, I'd do anything I could to give her the career/life she wants. I'd miss her horribly if she left me, but I know I'd still hear from her now and again.

I love you, Jen - so much! (for me, there's only one "n" in Jen) xoxo

Anonymous Mail

While I'm certain I am opening up a regrettable can of worms with this post, I can't seem to help myself.

I received an anonymous letter on Tuesday regarding a post on my blog from FEBRUARY. The "letter" (an unsigned, typed admonishment/complaint) was sent via an official government envelope, which I gather is illegal, but whatever.

I don't know who sent it - although I have my ideas. The following are my thoughts thus far, which I must admit (maybe the person who sent the envelope will be pleased) occupied an annoyingly large chunk of my day Tuesday:

1. I am only identifiable in that post by revealing my last name and the name of my assistant. My blog is for the most part unidentifiable: my username is an acronym and I've never mentioned my place of business by name;

2. Only those with access to our onsite directory - which provides information regarding my mail drop - could've sent it, meaning the sender was a colleague. (Or a colleague in very close proximity, which is my assumption);

3. The cause for complaint (references to certain names, not meant in any way to be disparaging - here I'd say to the "letter" writer, "Please get a sense of humor.") is ridiculous. I consulted with several colleagues who immediately agreed with my assessment. Not to mention that you'd probably have to be on page 50 of some google search to come across my blog in reference to any one of those names;

4. Lastly, on the off chance that the "letter" writer reads this, please know that "anonymous" mail is not looked on kindly by me. If something offends you, or you believe it reasonably offends someone else, please discuss such matters with me, to my face (I say this because I am certain such discussion in this case was possible). Had that approach been taken in the first place, I might have felt obliged to take some type of action (removing or editing the post). In light of how this was handled instead, I am not.

I have been working in my present occupation for several years and I think I am very good at my job. I have the utmost respect for the publication for which I work and the people who ardently contribute to it day in and day out. I truly hope that whoever sent me that "letter" doesn't know me very well, or is at the very least humorless.

I should mention that many of the people I deal with on a daily basis - "clients" and co-workers - enjoy my sense of humor - even at their own expense.

In closing, I'd like to quote one of my favorite co-workers, "You'd think someone could've been brave enough to sign their name!"

Unexpected memories

So I had one of those “oh my – why won’t my brain work” moments yesterday and it made me really sad, although I hope my sadness wasn’t noted (I don’t think it was).

My assistant and dear friend Jen and I had just returned from grabbing coffee at Starbucks and as soon as I put my car in park it started to pour down rain. Therefore, we decided to wait it out for a few minutes in the car. This lead to us discussing the upcoming company outing, for which we were offered three choices upon which to vote. This in turn lead to our discussing one of our past outings to Frankie’s Fun Park in Raleigh – one which Jen did not get to attend. Jen said, “I bet Chris Reuther was such a cute spaz at that place.”

As soon as she said it, I was dumbstruck and the first thing out of my mouth was, “Was he alive?” The answer that followed didn’t matter. I was immediately heartbroken.

Chris was in fact with us on that mystery trip, and I instantly remembered giving him my remaining tokens before I left for the evening. His face lit up like I’d just given him a million dollars. He was indeed an adorable spaz – an adorable spaz who knew how to have a good time and was a delight to watch doing so.

I miss him. We all really miss him. Sometimes the memory of him is extremely painful, but sometimes those memories make me laugh almost to the point of tears - happy tears.

It’s been just over two years since Chris was taken from us. I really hope he somehow knows how much he is missed!

Daily Humor

A lot of people keep things at their desk that make them smile or laugh: pictures of loved ones, quotes, knick knacks, etc. When my assistant (I love reminding people that her name is Jennifer Garner) comes across a name that makes her laugh, she writes it on a post-it and puts it on her computer monitor. Since we work with authors from all over the world, she's found some downright hilarious ones. Keep in mind that some of these are only funny when mispronounced.

For example, I'm sure Dr. Takeshita should be pronounced (tä'k•ä•shē'•tä), but of course we pronounce it (tāk•a•shĭt•a). You get the idea.

Here are some more of our favorites. I'll let you use your imagination as to the pronunciation:

•Dr. Bizzarro
•Dr. Boobis
•Dr. Crapo
•Dr. Madhu Dikshit
•Dr. McWeeney
•Dr. Plopper
•Dr. Richard Wang (a.k.a. Dick Wang)
•Dr. Stanko
•Dr. Sitthichok Puangthongthub

I realize that our poking fun at strangers by butchering their names is a bit juvenile, but sometimes a little immaturity keeps the day-to-day a lot more tolerable!

In fact, I'll even be a good sport and share my two favorites for my name, as spoken by the security guards on-site. I'll preface this by saying that yes, they are reading my name from an online directory where it is spelled correctly.

My last name should be pronounced (glā'z•ě•nûr), but somehow Glazener becomes Glavenora and Glavinator (a.k.a. The Glavinator). Where did the "V" come from?

As you might imagine, I get a lot of "I'll be back!" jokes.

Busy, yet fabulously fun weekend

Brogan hosted our annual Christmas party on Friday night at the Page Walker Arts and History Center in downtown Cary. As usual, the night included dinner, drinks, personalized awards and entertainment. I thoroughly enjoyed (probably to excess) the pomegranate martinis, provided by the pitcher. Wow, they were yummy and potent, and put a bit of a damper on my Saturday schedule...

So the entertainment was Wii and karaoke. I really don't know if a single EHP employee got to play Wii, but then again I was quite tipsy. I had no plans to croon for anyone, but the martinis made me do it. Jen and I made fools of ourselves first, then Joseph joined us in trying to sing along to Mmm bop. Not only is that song ridiculous, but trying to sing along with blurred vision and impaired vocal skills is beyond ridiculous.

I'm lucky Jeni and Mark dragged me out the door soon after! Photo of me with the lovely Kimberly below. She is terribly missed from our daily EHP lives!



Next photo of my dear Jen. That is, Jennifer Garner. I love telling people I work with Jennifer Garner. Hee!



So, as I mentioned earlier, the martini effects kept me from sticking to my planned travel schedule on Saturday. No real harm done, I made it to Charlotte in time to visit with Cristy and Will before heading out for a night that proved to be quite the crazy one. Evidence below, depicted in the photo of a very intoxicated Cristy and myself.

Fun was had by all - I was set up with one of Will's co-workers, and another couple joined us as well - Mary and Michael - all some of the nicest, most hilarious people I've had the pleasure of spending time with.

Again, as repeatedly noted, my camera is TRUE DOOKIE, so I didn't get many photos. Cristy's camera holds the true steep digression of the evening, as we all indulged a bit too much!

I vaguely remember having an indepth discussion with our homeward bound cab driver about Reykjavik, Iceland. Pretty sure I was more surprised at my ability to discuss actual historical landmarks and cultural references than the fact that Reykjavik came up in conversation.



Couldn't help but photograph the sign below. What a beaut.

Birthday lunch at Mez

My wonderful EHP friends and colleagues took me to lunch at Mez today -- YUM! Kimberly, Mary, Kathy, Jen and Jeni all came out to celebrate with me, even though the official dreaded day is Saturday.

I'd only been to Mez for dinner, but I swear my lunch plate was much larger than my dinner plate! Today I had the Chicken Tinga Burrito Chipotle braised chicken wrapped in a warm flour tortilla with guacamole, black beans, green rice and tomatillo salsa. Served with Yucatecan slaw and roasted tomato-chipotle salsa, and we also got the guacamole appetizer (I could eat 5 pounds of that stuff)! My burrito was ENORMOUS and delicious (I just finished it off for dinner). Mez chicken is wonderfully fresh and tender - I've eaten chicken dishes on both occasions and it does not disappoint.

The restaurant is very modern, and I called our circular booth the "teacup booth" because it reminded me of those spinning teacup rides at county fairs (although tasteful). The table was rather large, making sharing the guacamole in the center of the table a bit of a challenge, but I loved the round table because I could see all of my friends and easily talk to them!

Best of all, the waitress brought me a birthday dessert - sans obnoxious clapping, cheesy singing and complete embarrassment - it was very dignified, and the dish even had a candle on top. The dessert was the "Tres Leches Cake," Mez's version of a Latin classic. Layers of sponge cake soaked in "three milks." Topped with meringue and candied almonds. It was wonderful, and I loved having a candle to blow out since I never get birthday cakes made for me anymore!

Thanks for celebrating with me, girls!

White Elephant Twist

On Monday, EHP will be moving to new diggs. Since many of my colleagues have inhabited their current offices for 7-10 years, you can imagine the heightened stress, increased dust clouds and bizarre discoveries going on at East Campus.

In an effort to have a little fun, Kathy suggested we have a white elephant gift exchange during our annual Thanksgiving luncheon. This took place yesterday. The usual potluck luncheon was Randy's Pizza, and the white elephant gift exchange had special rules. You were to bring the most bizarre thing unearthed from your office, and it had to be wrapped with materials from your office, too. My lovely gift is pictured right. I kept calling it a terradactyl, but Matt corrected me. "It's a dragon Tracey!"

There were some fabulously hilarious gifts: puppet heads of two of the most hated individuals ever to work at NIEHS; a "deluxe lanyard gift set" expertly crafted by Stephanie Bishop, which had us all in side-splitting laughter; candy-pooping chickens; a can of tuna, accompanied by a photo of one of EHP's editors from over a decade ago, complete with "fancy frame"; and many other random items. Fun was definitely had by all!

Oh, and the terradactyl/dragon will most likely make an appearance at our annual Christmas white elephant gift exchange. I just know all of my colleagues are counting the days until their chance to take him home with them...

Barnsie the office mascot

Barnsie was a Christmas gift from colleague Dorothy last year. He came from Barnes & Noble, wearing a green sweater with "Barnsie" embroidered on the chest in gold. She told Jen and I at the time that we were supposed to "dress" him for the changing seasons and use him as our office mascot. (Apparently another colleague has a bear that also has a revolving wardrobe, and we were to be the "competition.") While I haven't purchased any clothes for Barnsie, co-workers have outfitted him well. Actually, he's rather transgendered since he's gone from boyish to very frilly clothes and back again. Before today's new outfit, Barnsie (or Barnsietta) was wearing a skirted one-piece bathing suit and sunglasses.

Kathy bought Barnsie's Halloween attire. The shirt reads, "Little Monster," and we stuffed the witch hat with bubblewrap so it would stand up. It was Jen's idea to add the ant ornament (Christmas gift from colleague Rita last year, seen only in 2nd photo), and I think it rounds out the outfit nicely!

I'm sure I'll get chided for this post, but Barnsie really does draw his fair share of attention. I bet someone brings in a Santa suit before the end of the year!