The dog doo saga continues

Retaliation is imminent.

As I was pulling into my driveway last night I spotted my neighbor, clad only in a bath towel and wife-beater tank top, leaving a note at my doorstep. I was on the phone with my mom at the time, but I immediately poked my head out my window and asked, “What’s wrong now?!” while I whispered to my mom, “I bet I’m getting another poop letter.” I only assumed so based on my neighbor's history - I did not in any way think I deserved another "poop letter."

My neighbor appeared embarrassed to have been caught red-handed leaving his ridiculous complaint. He said his daughter stepped in "dog doo" in my yard.

I was sure to remind him that I’m not the only dog owner in the neighborhood, that I DO pick up my dog’s doo and that 98.25% of the side yard is my property. Therefore, aside from the fact that I did in fact pick up every trace of dog doo on Saturday afternoon, if his daughter stepped in dog doo (where he indicated) on Sunday then she was likely on my property, because Bailey is only allowed to poop in the yard if he is on-leash, which provides him an allowance of about 3 feet from the side door. Let’s add that Bailey, Zoe and I were all away from our home from the time I picked up the yard Saturday until I arrived home to find the neighbor leaving me a stupid note.

Good lord – don’t people have better things to do anyway?! My lovely assistant has appropriately labeled said people as “poop Nazis.” My mother – one of the sweetest women ever to exist – said, “Those people need to get a life.” I concur.

As gross as it sounds, I know exactly what my dogs’ poo looks like, and I know there have been random/unknown loads dropped in my yard. Have I blamed anyone? No.

If I receive another accusatory letter I am sure I will lose it and verbally retaliate. I might be a smallish person (horizontally, not vertically), but I've got heft. Guess we’ll wait and see.