Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Eight legged freaks

I’m not a particularly squeamish girl. Unless creepy-crawlies launch themselves at me within completely unforeseen circumstances, I can handle critters. Beetles, spiders, snakes, mice – vermin in general don’t freak me out. What I do NOT like is discovering what I can only describe as an out and out spider invasion of my house.

A few months ago I suffered from a near death experience that could only be described (by the ER paperwork) as “Bite of unknown origin suspected, bright red welt on lower abdomen noted. Anaphylactic shock, administration of epinephrine and fluids. Medical history did not reveal any known allergies to insects.” (I really hope my dad doesn’t read this).

Amongst the following days I plucked two – albeit small – spiders from my person. I probably should’ve had the Orkin man on speed dial, but no, I took no drastic measures.

Rocketing back to this past week: I found two horrifically large spiders - each living in his own impressive tapestry - attached to the outer perimeter of my house. The first one scared the bejeezus out of me, only because I discovered it in the evening while pruning the vine-like plant that covers most of my front porch railing. By the time I saw Spidey, my hand was practically on top of him and his 3-inch legs.

After deftly avoiding a full-on panic attack, I sprinted inside to retrieve my Raid Ant Killer - the only bug killer I had on hand. At first my panic began to return and heighten because let me tell you, that spider was FAST. At first spray he was climbing at warp speed for shelter, but I refused to embrace defeat. I showered that creature in a sea of Raid and hoped for the best. Of course the next day I could find no evidence of a spider corpse, so for all I know he marched away - or right into my house.

Last night while watering plants I spotted an enormous spiral orb web - only because my eye first registered the hand-sized spider within said web - and almost swallowed my tongue. I'd just purchased a 1.33 gallon size container of Ortho Home Defense MAX so I made a beeline for my car and after engaging the dispenser I sprayed bug poison with no mercy. It took a LOT of spray, but I'm pretty sure I witnessed the death of Mr. Oversized Arachnid.

Now I'm on a mission. If diligent perimeter monitoring and bombing doesn't do the trick, I guess my cheap ass will just have to call the Orkin man after all.

2 comments:

weebairn said...

Mmm, Orkin might be cheaper than another ER vist! Several years ago Paul was bitten by a black widow in his apt. We paid for our own pest control guy to come spray his apt at that point; again cheaper than the ER visit and subsequent antibiotic Rx. In case you didn't get my point, call somebody to professionally spray your house! I have heard from several sources that this seems to be a particularly bad ( or good depending on how you look at it) year for spiders. You shouldn't play around with this, particularly since you live by yourself. You have your furkids to think of as well.

TinyRockerGrrl said...

You need to watch the video I put up on Youtube over the weekend. We had a monster of a spider on our back deck. We named it Sheelob.. : shiver :

I need to upload the video of Chris attacking and defeating Sheelob the day after. Its hilarious!