Quote of the day

"RETHINK THE TELEPHONE.

I live in a culture where I spend a lot of time on hold, listening to 'Your call is very important to us.' Yeah, right. That's like a guy slapping a girl in the face on the first date and saying, 'I actually do love you.'"

-Randy Pausch, quoted in "The Last Lecture"

Puppy needs a home

My brother Todd came across this sweet boy when he was on one of his runs. He and his wife have made great efforts to find the owner of this dog (should he/she exist), but have had no luck so far. They live in Pfafftown, NC (near Winston-Salem and Clemmons/Lewisville).

Being the animal lovers they are, Todd and Maria have been caring for this dog for a few weeks now and I'm certain they won't release him without knowing he is in loving hands, although they can't keep him indefinitely because they already own a semi-neurotic Sheltie who won't accept a canine intruder.

Should you have any information/advice regarding the dog pictured, please comment and I will pass your comments along to my brother.



Thank you!

Unannounced Visitors

Am I the only person who despises unannounced visitors? Friends are one thing but solicitors are quite another, especially when they call on you at 8 pm on a Sunday night. My true friends, God bless 'em, know better than to drop by unannounced, and most of them know better than to ring the doorbell.

My "visitor" last night repeatedly rang my doorbell, bringing Zoe and Bailey to a rather heightened hysteria while I sat motionless on my couch praying for said "visitor's" departure. In my charade of appearing to be absent from my home, I couldn't shush or soothe the dogs, so the barking went on and on.

Afterwards I crept upstairs to peer out of the guest bedroom window and sure enough, there was a van parked in the dead center of the cul-de-sac, which was obviously transporting a group of solicitors door-to-door.

When I lived in apartment complexes, I was a tad more forgiving of random knocks on my door, but there's something about owning my own house that makes me feel I have a right to less intrusion by strangers.

The last time I mistakenly peeked around the curtains blocking the front door windows to see who was waiting (I was expecting a package and thought there would be nothing on the porch but a brown box) I found a twenty-something male ready to make a sales pitch. Without even opening the door, I waved my hands at him in a "no thank you" way and left it at that.

I suppose that is what in part makes me so irritated with solicitors. I feel I can only deal with them by being rude, which makes me feel bad, therefore I'd rather they just stay away.

It is ironic that I have a snoopy-like metal dog figure on my porch holding a "welcome" sign when that is really so far from the truth. I should replace the dog's sign with one that says, "NO SOLICITORS." I've considered this many times in the past few years because the "No Solicitors" sign at the entrance of my neighborhood is obviously doing nothing for me or my neighbors.

When lightning strikes

I admit that my seemingly speed-reading (I'm actually a VERY slow reader) reveals my lack of an exciting life, but oh well. Since my last post I've finished reading both Grave Surprise and An Ice Cold Grave. Both books - like the first - were read in one sitting and I thoroughly enjoyed them.

I don't want to spoil anything for anyone who decides to read the Harper Connelly books, but I will say that many of my suspicions related in my post regarding Grave Sight were valid, and I'm looking forward to book four due in October of this year.

I should take back the PG rating I relayed earlier, although the books don't really become R-rated until the second half of book three (An Ice Cold Grave). Again, to avoid spoilers I won't expand here.

I've already picked up the first book of another of Charlaine Harris' series, Shakespeare's Landlord. The second book in that series is in my library queue but I don't know if I'll have access to it before the beach. I'll hold off beginning the first just in case as I'd rather read successive books back to back.

My recent reading frenzy led me to put several other books in my queue at the library. I'll be picking up Dry by Augusten Burroughs ("Running With Scissors" is one of my all-time favorite books) and Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt sometime in the next couple of days. I'm trying to collect as many desirable books as I can before I leave for vacation.

Any suggestions? Please send them along via comment. Happy reading!

From Sookie Stackhouse to Harper Connelly

I finished the last Sookie Stackhouse tale, Dead and Gone last weekend, so I'm forced to wait until October for Charlaine Harris' next installment, A Touch of Dead.

I realize the following just proves how unexciting my life is, but I've since finished two more books, one of them being Harris' first in the Harper Connelly series, Grave Sight.

I enjoyed Grave Sight - I finished it in one sitting - and I've already gotten the second book, Grave Surprise from the local library. The third is on its way for me to pick up at the library this week.

The first Harper Connelly book was far more PG than the Sookie series, which doesn't really matter to me other than the fact that most of the sex in novels doesn't really add to the plot in a meaningful way. Therefore, the lack of it means there's less fluff to the pages and more pertinent information to keep me interested.

Grave Sight was a bit shorter than most of the Sookie books - under 300 pages - but there was a lot less meaningless text in GS than in some of the Sookie series. Don't get me wrong, I loved the Sookie books, but towards the end of some of them I wanted to scream because a great deal of the last 20-30 pages were completely unnecessary. I'd find myself skimming out of impatience and if I went back to thoroughly read the pages I'd skimmed, I found that they were in fact pages that could easily be skipped all together.

While Sookie's tales revolve around vampires and other various "were-animals," the Harper Connelly series has humans at the heart of its stories.

Harper was struck by lightning when she was a teenager and as a result she can locate dead people - she describes her "sense" as a buzzing she feels when she's close to a dead body. She can't see who killed the victim (in the case of murder) but she can see how each victim died. In fact, when in proximity to the site of the victim's death, she psychologically lives out their last few moments.

Harper's step-brother, Tolliver, is more like a business manager and body guard than anything else.

I find Harper and Tolliver's relationship a little weird - I know they are only "step" brother and sister, but their affection for each other seems almost inappropriate, but hasn't subtracted from my enjoyment of the story. I'm hoping there is some explanation coming in the following books for Harper's strange "need" for her brother.

There is a fourth Harper Connelly book due out in October. Charlaine Harris sure is some kind of writing machine!

Anonymous Mail

While I'm certain I am opening up a regrettable can of worms with this post, I can't seem to help myself.

I received an anonymous letter on Tuesday regarding a post on my blog from FEBRUARY. The "letter" (an unsigned, typed admonishment/complaint) was sent via an official government envelope, which I gather is illegal, but whatever.

I don't know who sent it - although I have my ideas. The following are my thoughts thus far, which I must admit (maybe the person who sent the envelope will be pleased) occupied an annoyingly large chunk of my day Tuesday:

1. I am only identifiable in that post by revealing my last name and the name of my assistant. My blog is for the most part unidentifiable: my username is an acronym and I've never mentioned my place of business by name;

2. Only those with access to our onsite directory - which provides information regarding my mail drop - could've sent it, meaning the sender was a colleague. (Or a colleague in very close proximity, which is my assumption);

3. The cause for complaint (references to certain names, not meant in any way to be disparaging - here I'd say to the "letter" writer, "Please get a sense of humor.") is ridiculous. I consulted with several colleagues who immediately agreed with my assessment. Not to mention that you'd probably have to be on page 50 of some google search to come across my blog in reference to any one of those names;

4. Lastly, on the off chance that the "letter" writer reads this, please know that "anonymous" mail is not looked on kindly by me. If something offends you, or you believe it reasonably offends someone else, please discuss such matters with me, to my face (I say this because I am certain such discussion in this case was possible). Had that approach been taken in the first place, I might have felt obliged to take some type of action (removing or editing the post). In light of how this was handled instead, I am not.

I have been working in my present occupation for several years and I think I am very good at my job. I have the utmost respect for the publication for which I work and the people who ardently contribute to it day in and day out. I truly hope that whoever sent me that "letter" doesn't know me very well, or is at the very least humorless.

I should mention that many of the people I deal with on a daily basis - "clients" and co-workers - enjoy my sense of humor - even at their own expense.

In closing, I'd like to quote one of my favorite co-workers, "You'd think someone could've been brave enough to sign their name!"

More on Into the Wild

I received my soundtrack for the film last week and I am in love. Hats off to Eddie Vedder.

If ever there were words written to exemplify the how and why behind Christopher McCandless' exit into oblivion, Eddie Vedder's music did it perfectly. Excellent.

Everyone has their own opinion, but while I found Chris to be a bit of an extremist, I still love him for his resolve and desire to discover more about himself on his own time.

The lyrics from one of my favorites on the soundtrack, "Guaranteed" is copied below.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On bended knee is no way to be free
Lifting up an empty cup I ask silently
That all my destinations will accept the one that's me
So I can breathe

Circles they grow and they swallow people whole
Half their lives they say goodnight to wives they'll never know
Got a mind full of questions and a teacher in my soul
And so it goes

Don't come closer or I'll have to go
Owning me like gravity are places that pull
If ever there was someone to keep me at home
It would be you

Everyone I come across in cages they bought
They think of me and my wandering but I'm never what they thought
Got my indignation but I'm pure in all my thoughts
I'm alive

Wind in my hair I feel part of everywhere
Underneath my being is a road that disappeared
Late at night I hear the trees they're singing with the dead
Overhead

Leave it to me as I find a way to be
Consider me a satellite forever orbiting
I knew all the rules but the rules did not know me
Guaranteed

She with two dogs takes the blame

I received the following letter - thrown in the middle of my driveway - last Friday morning:

"May I respectfully ask you to pick up your dogs' poo, in the yard, as the pungent smell severely compromises the air quality with quality of living for your neighbors.

I thank you for your cooperation."

As I have ALWAYS picked up after both of my dogs, this letter is what I view to be yet another unwarranted attack. I've just about had it. Like my assistant said in reaction to my relaying the news to her, "You have a bunch of poo Nazi's in your neighborhood. That would bug the poo out of me (no pun intended)."

My response follows: (which has not been relayed to anyone but this blog)

1. I am not the only dog owner in our neighborhood;

2. I constantly pick up after my animals - with bio-degradable bags no less;

3. While I carefully knot each bag and toss it into the trash, on warm days there's not much I can do about a little stink. I won't apologize for that anymore than someone might at a swimming pool with a toddler and a dirty diaper.

If I lived in a neighborhood where even most dog owners were responsible enough to clean up after them, I would MAYBE be less offended by the accusations I've met this year. But that's the biggest problem - I am one of the only people in my neighborhood that I've ever seen stoop to bag a shit, so being blamed for not doing so is infuriating.

I know none of them are reading, but if they were, I'd want to tell my neighbors to eat shit.

Summer Storm

My dog Bailey is terrified of thunderstorms. For those of you who've read "Marley and Me," Marley's aversion to thunderstorms is not much more extreme than Bailey's. These things never used to bother Zoe, but she's acquired some rather annoying phobias thanks to her older brother. (The fear of inclement weather conditions is likely the least annoying of said acquired phobias).

Living in North Carolina makes it quite hard to avoid the occasional storm - sometimes the ever so frequent storm. Anyway, I heard the rain last night and decided to investigate. I found it hilarious that Zoe was right on my heels (she loathes rain), dying to go outside. Being the mean woman that I am, I allowed her to follow me - much to her own detriment.

As soon as she set foot outside she was alarmed and back-peddling. She looked up at me as she was being sprayed by rain as if to say, "WHY?!" Our exposure was very minimal, as I have an ample porch, so didn't feel too bad for Zoe.

I made her tolerate the spray and misting as I snapped the photos below, which I thought looked rather cool just because of the way the raindrops are captured. It reminded me of photos I've taken during snowfall.

Never fear, Zoe returned to her bed unharmed, save for a few unwelcome droplets on her coat. She's a tough girl - despite her acquired fear of thunder, unexpected beeps (especially if they come from an oven or a camera) and pesky CRAZY lurking neighbors.

Holden Beach on the Horizon

The Glazener family vacation to Holden Beach is rapidly approaching and I find myself giddy with excitement. The photo pictured left was taken by my sister last year as we ventured out at the ass-crack of dawn to troll for olive shells - which we'd become obsessed with over our week-long stay.

Finding an olive was like finding a $20 bill free and clear. We couldn't stop searching for them, right up through our last morning last year.

We'd even begun tracking the tides in order to pinpoint prime olive-shelling. (I should feel embarrassed at that admission, but I just don't).

I have every confidence that the olive-shelling frenzy will pick right up where it left off last August, as well as regular seagull feedings, boogie boarding sessions and lots of beach combing. Abby is the cutest true surfer-girl to grace any beach, so I always look forward to spending a day in the sun with her.

Here's to all the book reading, sunbathing, relaxing and OLIVE SHELL DISCOVERY to come very soon. Can't wait to spend time with all you Glazeners! xoxo

Self-Styled Pooch

Zoe comes up with her own crazy hairstyles on most occasions. The one below was achieved as most are: by frantic tossing and turning on her bed.




And it surely looks like someone is in need of a Pawdicure. Check out those claws!

A vampire's love story

Far beyond HBO's True Blood, I am deeply embedded in Sookie Stackhouse's life via Charlaine Harris' novels. Lately, I've been feeling bad for Miss Stackhouse. After all, she's a mind-reading, self-proclaimed undateable waitress who recently found love and then lost it - and NOT gently.

I encourage all True Blood fans to read Charlaine Harris' novels. I am very nearly finished with the 5th book and will be reading ahead as soon as possible. Fans won't be disappointed. Sookie is a "take 'em as they come" heroine, and one who always comes out gracefully on top. Her character reminds me a great deal of Brenda Lee Johnson on TNT's The Closer. Just in case it's not clear, I consider the aforementioned comparison a sincere compliment.

Charlaine Harris' books are great reads - at least up til now. I have yet to be disappointed, but an Amazon reviewer indicated that before reading book six "Definitely Dead," I would need to read "One Word Answer," which was published as a short story in "Bite."

I managed to obtain a copy of the aforementioned book from my local library, so I fully intend to comment on whether or not the outside reading is really necessary. Until then...

Quote of the day

I spotted the following on the roadside announcement board of my vet's office on my way home Friday night:

"Happiness is a wet nose."

-unknown

Two towheads, a girl, her dog and me

I stopped by the Burleigh house after the gym last night to drop off Breaking Dawn for Kerry - she sure zipped right through those Twilight books despite my skepticism regarding whether she'd like them or not!

I arrived just in time to accompany Kerry, Sydney, Felton and Emma on Emma's afternoon walk. What a production: Kerry pushing an empty two-seated stroller most of the way; Sydney towing a pretend mower behind her (all the while turning around to watch it which involved quite a few spills); Felton's preoccupation with all the trees, sticks and bushes along the trail; and poor Emma, having to inch along in the hopes of finding a nice spot in which to do her business.

Sydney, my lovely goddaughter (nearly 18 1/2 months), post leaf shredding:



Felton's best "cheese!" face with Sydney in the back seat:



When the kids picked up sticks and started swinging them about while making swooshing and shooting noises, I asked Kerry, "What are those, light sabers?" She answered yes, and explained that Sydney is very quick to imitate her brother's behavior. (Felton is 3 yrs, 7 months).



The last photo, my favorite, is of Felton's fierce battle stance. Kerry's response to seeing this photo was, "Oh yes, that will be in the wedding (Felton's) slide show for sure!"



As I was getting ready to leave, Sydney indicated that she wanted to get inside my car. I asked her, "You want to go with me?" and she nodded. I thought, "Ha! you would scream your head off if I took you away from your mommy." Maybe someday she'll be willing.

LLBean is TOPS

Yes, the LLBean store in Maine is opened 24/7/365. Yes, satisfaction is 100% guaranteed. Yes I used to live down the street from the store. So yes, I and my family are huge fans of LLBean.

I give you one of many cases in point in the following: I received a clock from my mom for Christmas either 2006 or 2007. The clock recently failed to keep time: the second hand would consistently tick back for a few seconds every now and then, leaving the time as dreadfully inaccurate.

I called LLBean service in June 2009 and was instructed to print a return label via my online account (which provided UPS return service free of charge) and ship my item back to LLBean for either an exchange or a refund.

I requested a replacement item (the same clock) which I am pleased to report is presently on its way to me as I type. Seriously, LLBean rocks! Their customer service is out of this world.

I encourage shopping there!

More vampire tales

I started reading Charlaine Harris’ Southern Vampire Mysteries last Friday and I’m almost half-way through book two. (Dead Until Dark, pictured left, is the first book in the series; Living Dead in Dallas is book two).

Also known as The Sookie Stackhouse Novels - the books are the basis of one of my favorite TV shows, True Blood. The Sookie series is award-winning and has graced the New York Times Bestseller list. Thus far, I have no problems strongly recommending the books - very entertaining. Dare I say, "Fangtastic!"

While there are some rather large differences between the books and the show, there are no real plot holes. Alan Ball certainly added in some characters and plot twists in order to make True Blood a must-see show - which he very successfully managed!

In comparison to the Twilight series I recently finished, I would say the major differences are as follows:

• The context/plot of Harris’ books are far more adult in nature;

• Harris’ books are much shorter (approximately 300 pgs each) but there are more books in the Sookie series than the Twilight series;

• Harris’ vampires follow more of the traditional rules as put forth by historical references;

• In my opinion, the actors who play Bill and Sookie are far more true to the characters in the books than those of Bella and Edward in the Twilight series films.

I suppose I should reiterate here that the "commentary" version of Twilight saved the film for me. Without it, I'd give it a grade of D at best.

I have one warning for True Blood viewers: if you want the show to completely surprise you, don't start reading the Sookie books anytime soon. As I said, I'm only half-way through the second book and I'm already passed HBO's True Blood story line.

A dog's treasure

I got the link to this ad from my brother. Although it's not an ad for a dog product per se, it's still adorable. I completely agree with one of the comments on the youtube page - the "dream sequence" is priceless!

The art of dog sitting

For the most part the art of dog sitting requires an individual to have no life – that would be me. I was a favorite dog sitter for many co-workers in Michigan, and I remain a regular at Emma’s house in Durham. I really love Emma, so looking after her is never seen as a job.

I’ve taken care of Cleveland, Maggie, Henry, Hershey, Toby, Emma, Ernie, Winston, Casey and Charlie – gladly – and loved every second of my time with those doggies.

Crazy Neighbor Chronicles: Inappropriate bin usage

I’ve mentioned my crazy, self-proclaimed neighborhood recycling captain, barking neighbor in an earlier post, and I must admit that his eccentric behavior – most often intended to be earnestly helpful – has as of late fallen a bit off my radar. In other words, he has not recently parked himself outside of my sliding glass door (kitchen) and barked at Zoe; he hasn’t accosted me with unending questions about my vehicle and why I should sell it to him; and he hasn’t recently polished my hubcaps to a shine that rivals a mirror’s reflection. (Yes, he has carried out all of the aforementioned on embarrassingly numerous occasions).

Before I explain my recent irritating episode dealt by the hand of my neighbor, I have to add just a tiny bit of back story.

Durham just recently made some major changes to the curbside recycling program. We now have a receptacle just as large as our trash bin for recycling. While recyclables will only be collected every other week as opposed to every week, the larger container (which I must say is far more convenient as it is easier to “wheel” to the curb) should provide most residents with ample room for packing in recyclables.

The new, larger recycling bins were left (one per household) at the end of each driveway in my neighborhood about a week ago. Instructions regarding usage were attached to each of the bins, including the date on which usage should begin. In my case the start date is July 13th.

Enter annoying neighbor – who I realize does a great deal for me – although solely by his own choice. I have never asked ANYTHING of him - not the time, no favors, nothing. In fact, I recently realized that I’ve also never thanked him for anything. I know that makes me sound horrible, but I guess I didn’t want him to feel like he should expect anything in return, nor should he feel expected to continue to do anything for me. I honestly thought he would’ve stopped everything by now, but he remains undeterred.

On to the recent frustration.

As I exited through my kitchen Monday night to retrieve my garbage can, I wasn’t shocked - albeit annoyed - to find that both my trash and recycling bins were missing. The recycling bin - the one we're not supposed to use until July 13th - had been taken from my back yard and filled to the brim with items that were entirely not mine.

I fumed momentarily and then decided to write a note to Crazy Neighbor. I reminded him that the large bins aren’t to be used until July 13th and that he needed to remove his items from my bin so it would be empty when I am ready to use it. I taped the note to my bin and parked it in the middle of his driveway. (This was done after 11 pm or I probably would’ve confronted him directly, as I’ve had to before).

Yesterday morning, my bin remained full and had only been moved to the right of his driveway. Last night upon returning home from work I saw that the bin was no longer there, but it’s also not in my backyard.

Looks like Crazy Neighbor is going to get a visit from Bitterly Annoyed Me on Thursday. RAWR!